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The charts below shows the participation of sports outside school hours in the UK

The charts below shows the participation of sports outside school hours in the UK X7mlN
The bar chart compares the percentage of boys and girls in the UK participating in different kinds of sports in outside school hours. In general, male students outnumber female students in the participation of football and basketball, while an opposite situation can be seen in the figures for swimming, netball and no sports. In particular, the percentage of boys playing football is greatest in five sports; however, the percentage of girls playing netball is higher than any other physical activities. Football nam cao hơn nữ dùng compared to In more detail, 20% of boys in the in the UK took part in football in outside school hours, compared to 4% of giris. At the same time, 8% of boys played basketball, while the figure for girls is slightly lower, at 7%. On the other hand, standing at 18%, the percentage of female students participating in netball was far higher than that of male students, at about 2%. Swimming also experienced a similar situation to netball, with the figures being at 16% of female participants and 13% of male ones. Finally, the percentage of boys who do not join in sports is also higher than the figure for giris, at 8% as opposed to 7%.
The bar chart compares the
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percentage
of
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boys
and girls in the UK participating in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
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sports
in outside school hours.
In general
, male
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students
outnumber female
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students
in the participation of
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football
and basketball, while an opposite situation can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
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figures
for swimming, netball and no
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sports
.
In particular
, the
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percentage
of
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boys
playing
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football
is greatest in five
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sports
;
however
, the
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percentage
of girls playing netball is higher than any other physical activities.
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Football
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nam
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cao
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hơn
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nữ
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dùng
compared to

In more detail, 20% of
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boys
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "in the".
in the in the
UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in
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football
in outside school hours, compared to 4% of
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giris
. At the same time, 8% of
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boys
played basketball, while the
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figure
for girls is
slightly
lower, at 7%.
On the other hand
, standing at 18%, the
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percentage
of female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
participating in netball was far higher than that of male
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students
, at about 2%. Swimming
also
experienced a similar situation to netball, with the
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figures
being at 16% of female participants and 13% of male

ones.
Finally
, the
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percentage
of
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boys
who do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in
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sports
is
also
higher than the
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figure
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
giris
, at 8% as opposed to 7%.
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IELTS academic The charts below shows the participation of sports outside school hours in the UK

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
204 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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