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The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers. y8Vl
The prescribed bar illustration visualises the major purpose for entire study between student, and the assist they get from their employers Overall, it is succinct, younger get more support from employers as well as depicted they study for their career whereas, elderly people study for intrest and get least financial help from employers. It can be clearly seen that, age under 26, notched its pinnacle for their profession with the figure of 80%. Whereas, it was followed by the age group people from 26 upto 39 who study for occupation. The proportion of elder people remain constant either for career or for interest. Eventually, over 49 individuals only study for interest amounting for 70 ratio. On the second bar graph, the age of 30 to 39 got least support from employers approx 34%. Age from 40 to 49 and over 49 got the help in monetary terms just below 40% and just above 49%. Moving to age under 26, got extra financial help from organisations as compared to other age groups.
The prescribed bar illustration
Possible spelling mistake. 'visualises' is British English.
visualises
the major purpose for entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
between student, and the assist they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from their employers

Overall
, it is succinct, younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more support from employers
as well
as depicted they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for their career whereas, elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrest
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from employers.

It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
under 26, notched its pinnacle for their profession with the figure of 80%. Whereas, it
was followed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 26 to 39"?
from 26 upto 39
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for occupation. The proportion of elder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
remain constant either for career or for interest.
Eventually
, over 49 individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for interest amounting for 70
Possible agreement error. The noun 'ratio' seems to be countable, so consider using: "ratios".
ratio
.

On the second bar graph, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 30 to 39
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
support from employers approx 34%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Age
from 40 to 49 and over 49
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in monetary terms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 40% and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 49%. Moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
under 26,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
extra financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
as compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups.
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IELTS academic The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.