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The charts below show the class size of four states of Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the class size of four states of Australia. 70njY
The given pie charts reveal the information about a size of classroom in four different areas in Australia. The information are divided into Australian capital territory, Western Australia, New South Australia, and South Australia Overall, it can be seen the a classroom which more 30 student is lowest compared to other class sizes. In Australia Capital Territory, more than half of a class size have 21-25 pupils in one classroom. While the lowest class size is at only 2 classes. Furthermore, 43 class room in Western Australia have 21-25 students. However, the number of class size which have more than 30 learners is still the lowest at 3 classroom On the other hand, Almost half of the classroom size in New South Australia have around 30 students or fewer. Followed by 26-30 students and 21-25 students at 30 and 27 respectively. Almost classroom In South Australia have 21-25 students in one classroom. However, a classroom which have the lowest number is still a classroom with more than 30 students.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie charts reveal the information about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
of classroom in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas in Australia. The information
are divided
into Australian capital territory, Western Australia, New South Australia, and South
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Australia


Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "a" is left.
the a
classroom which more 30
Possible agreement error. The noun 'student' seems to be countable, so consider using: "students".
student
is
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lowest
compared to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
sizes.

In Australia Capital Territory, more than half of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
have 21-25 pupils in one classroom.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the
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lowest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
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size
is at
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only
2
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classes
.
Furthermore
, 43
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class
room in Western Australia have 21-25
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students
.
However
, the number of
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class
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size
which have more than 30 learners is
still
the
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lowest
at 3
Possible agreement error. The noun 'classroom' seems to be countable, so consider using: "classrooms".
classroom


On the other hand
, Almost half of the classroom
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size
in New South Australia have around 30
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students
or fewer. Followed by 26-30
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students
and 21-25
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students
at 30 and 27
respectively
. Almost classroom In South Australia have 21-25
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students
in one classroom.
However
, a classroom which have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lowest
number is
still
a classroom with more than 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
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IELTS academic The charts below show the class size of four states of Australia.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • The charts below show the class size of four states of Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.