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The diagram below shows stages in production of chocolate from cocoa beans in a chocolate factory in north central Australia

The diagram below shows stages in production of chocolate from cocoa beans in a chocolate factory in north central Australia a7Wgo
The flow chart illustrates manufacture of chocolate from cocoa beans in a chocolate company in north central Australia. Overall, it can be seen that the process involves many steps. The method start with fermented and dried cocoa beans and end with consumers. Look at first stages of the process, it is clear that the cocoa beans is fermented and dried. after that the dried cocoa beans were cleaned, shelled, winnowed and Roasted at these point the waste water were removed and shells also disposal. Next, cocoa beans were roasted nib and grinded and refined to produce mass or liquor. In addition, the other side liquor is processing and cocoa beans were alkalished and pressed. The following step is after pressing the cocoa beans were divided in two cocoa cake and cocoa butter. Next, cocoa cake turned in to powder and bagging storage and send the other industries. while the cocoa bitter is coolled and cake millied sleving and then deodorising and cooling and lastly packed and dispatche the supermarket. The next stage is, liquor chocolate is blended mixed and refined when blending add sugar at this stage after that add milk and grinded, conched and tempered. Moreover, liquid chocolate were coated and then seaprately storage as liquid and moulding. The liquid were semi finished chocolate products and send the factory. while moulding finished chocolate product despetched the custmers. Finally cocoa powder, cocoa butter and two typs chocolates were usef by individuals
The flow chart illustrates manufacture of chocolate from cocoa
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
in a chocolate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in north central Australia.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the process involves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
steps. The method
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with fermented and dried cocoa
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
with consumers. Look at
first
stages of the process, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the cocoa
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
is fermented
and dried.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
after
that the dried cocoa
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
were cleaned
, shelled, winnowed and Roasted at these point the waste water
were removed
and shells
also
disposal.
Next
, cocoa
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
were roasted
nib and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "ground", the past tense form of the verb 'grind'?
grinded
and refined to produce mass or liquor.
In addition
, the other side liquor is processing and cocoa
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
were
Possible spelling mistake found.
alkalished
and pressed. The following step is after pressing the cocoa
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
were divided
in two cocoa cake and cocoa butter.
Next
, cocoa cake turned in to powder and bagging storage and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the other industries.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
the cocoa bitter is
Possible spelling mistake found.
coolled
and cake
Possible spelling mistake found.
millied
Possible spelling mistake found.
sleving
and then
Possible spelling mistake. 'deodorising' is British English.
deodorising
and cooling and
lastly
packed and
Possible spelling mistake found.
dispatche
the supermarket. The
next
stage is, liquor chocolate
is blended
mixed and refined when blending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
sugar at this stage after that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
milk and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "ground", the past tense form of the verb 'grind'?
grinded
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
conched
and tempered.
Moreover
, liquid chocolate
were coated
and then
Possible spelling mistake found.
seaprately
storage as liquid and
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
. The liquid were semi finished chocolate products and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the factory.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
finished chocolate product
Possible spelling mistake found.
despetched
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
custmers
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
cocoa powder, cocoa butter and two
Possible spelling mistake found.
typs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chocolates
were
Possible spelling mistake found.
usef
by
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
individuals

IELTS academic The diagram below shows stages in production of chocolate from cocoa beans in a chocolate factory in north central Australia

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
240 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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