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the charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten to much

the charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten to much qVaVG
The charts below stand for how many percent that three nutrients, all of which may damage our health if eaten too much, constituted in typical meals. Generally, dinner was the most harmful meal because of its high sodium and saturated fat intake. Snacks was not nutritious because they contained high amount of added sugar. To begin, sodium and saturated fat were the cause making dinner become unhealthy and the proportion of them were respectively 43% and 37%. However, added sugar covered up 23% for dinner, which were nearly one forth over the total of two other items. Noticeably, snacks were considered as the harmful meal because of the added sugar accounting for 42%. In the meantime, the total of other nutrients was just about 35%, 7% less than the high commodity.
The charts below stand for how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
percent that three nutrients, all of which may damage our health if eaten too much, constituted in typical meals.

Generally
, dinner was the most harmful meal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its high sodium and saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
intake. Snacks was not nutritious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they contained high amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, sodium and saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
were the cause making dinner become unhealthy and the proportion of them were
respectively
43% and 37%.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar covered up 23% for dinner, which were
nearly
one forth over the total of two other items.

Noticeably
, snacks
were considered
as the harmful meal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar accounting for 42%. In the meantime, the total of other nutrients was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about 35%, 7% less than the high commodity.
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IELTS academic the charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten to much

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
131 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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