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The charts below indicate the number of honey-bee colonies and how much honey is produced in the US between 1970 and 2010.

The charts below indicate the number of honey-bee colonies and how much honey is produced in the US between 1970 and 2010. pLeLL
It is clear that, a proportion of honey-bee colonies and amount of honey production were fallen over a 40-year period. In 1970, there were 4 millions bee colonies in America and increased to approximately 4, 2 millions before decreasing to only 1. 8 millions in the next 30 years. During the same period, the amount of honey production dropped. In 1970, American bees produced 130, 000 tonnes of honey. After 10 years period, it went down from 130, 000 tonnes to 110, 000 tonnes. Then, rose to 120, 000 tonnes before declined significantly to just 70, 000 tonnes in 2010. Overall, the chart show that both the number of colonies and the amount of honey which bees make have fallen during the 40-year period.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, a proportion of honey-bee colonies and amount of honey production
were fallen
over a 40-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
. In 1970, there were 4 millions bee colonies in America and increased to approximately 4, 2 millions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
decreasing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1. 8 millions in the
next
30 years.

During the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
, the amount of honey production dropped. In 1970, American bees produced 130, 000 tonnes of honey. After 10 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
, it went down from 130, 000 tonnes to 110, 000 tonnes. Then, rose to 120, 000 tonnes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
declined
significantly
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
70, 000 tonnes in 2010.

Overall
, the chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that both the number of colonies and the amount of honey which bees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
have fallen during the 40-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
.
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IELTS academic The charts below indicate the number of honey-bee colonies and how much honey is produced in the US between 1970 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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