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The chart shows the variation in the level of the three main areas of crime (Burglary, Car Theft, and Robbery) in Manchester city center from 2003 to 2012.

The chart shows the variation in the level of the three main areas of crime (Burglary, Car Theft, and Robbery) in Manchester city center from 2003 to 2012. VyemK
The chart shows the variation in the level of the three main areas of crime (Burglary, Car Theft, and Robbery) in Manchester city center from 2003 to 2012. Overall, Burglary was the most common crime while the robbery was a minor problem, and Car theft has a considerably high position in Manchester city over the years. To start with, in 2003 the burglary was the most committed crime, with approximately 3800 reported cases. The figure rose slightly to around 3750 in 2004, then there was a significant decrease with over 1000 cases in 2008 before picking up to nearly 1500 next year. The trend then continued to fluctuate gradually until 2012. Looking at the graph, car theft stood as the second most committed crime in the city with around 2300 crime cases recorded in 2003, after that it plummeted slightly to 2000 in the next 3 years. There was a slow increase in 2007 before dropping slightly in 2008, but from then, the trend was generally upwards. The robbery was the least reported crime in all the years. It increased steadily in 2004 and 2005 and then fell moderately to just 500 cases followed the years to 2008 before there was a continuous fluctuation till 2012.
The chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the variation in the level of the three main areas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
(Burglary, Car Theft, and Robbery) in Manchester city center from 2003 to 2012.

Overall
, Burglary was the most common
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crime
while the robbery was a minor problem, and

Car theft has a
considerably
high position in Manchester city over the years.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, in 2003 the burglary was the most committed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, with approximately 3800 reported cases. The figure rose
slightly
to around 3750 in 2004, then there was a significant decrease with over 1000 cases in 2008
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
picking up to
nearly
1500
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. The trend then continued to fluctuate
gradually
until 2012.

Looking at the graph, car theft stood as the second most committed
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crime
in the city with around 2300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
cases recorded in 2003, after that it plummeted
slightly
to 2000 in the
next
3 years. There was a slow increase in 2007
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
dropping
slightly
in 2008,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
from then, the trend was
generally
upwards.

The robbery was the least reported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in all the years. It increased
steadily
in 2004 and 2005 and then fell
moderately
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
500 cases followed the years to 2008
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
there was a continuous fluctuation till 2012.
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IELTS academic The chart shows the variation in the level of the three main areas of crime (Burglary, Car Theft, and Robbery) in Manchester city center from 2003 to 2012.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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