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The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The line graph illustrates the unemployment conditions in Australian cities and countryside in all the 4 quarters of 2012. All in all, the proportion of people without a job has seen drastic ups and downs in countryside as well as in the Australian cities during 2012. Unemployment was majorly seen in the villages during the first quarter contrastingly seen more in towns during the end of the year. During the first quarter of 2012, only a little more than 2% of urban population was unemployed whereas the rural regions faced above 6% unemployment. Same was maintained in the third quarter in cities but the number had reduced amounting to below 6% in the villages of Australia. The issue was raised by approximately 2% in the second quarter meanwhile slid down almost 2% in cities and villages respectively. Marginal difference to 5% was seen by the end of 2012 in both the Australian areas.
The line graph illustrates the unemployment conditions in Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and countryside in all the 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarters
of 2012.

All in all, the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
without a job has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
drastic ups and downs in countryside
as well
as in the Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
during 2012. Unemployment was
majorly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
in the villages during the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
Possible spelling mistake found.
contrastingly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
more in towns during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year.

During the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
of 2012,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more than 2% of urban population
was unemployed
whereas the rural regions faced above 6% unemployment. Same
was maintained
in the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
in
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the number had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
amounting to below 6% in the villages of Australia.

The issue
was raised
by approximately 2% in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
meanwhile slid down almost 2% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and villages
respectively
. Marginal difference to 5% was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2012 in both the Australian areas.
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IELTS academic The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.