Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The chart shows the proportion of graduates from Bluesky University in 2006 entiring different employment

The chart shows the proportion of graduates from Bluesky University in 2006 entiring different employment 73ynb
The pie chart compares the percentage of different working areas involving by Bluesky University's graduates in 2006. Overall, people graduates mostly with different working sector such as manufacturing industry and politics and government besides work source employees in that year. In detail, the manufacturing industry was the most graduated employe type all over the world. It accounted for nearly one fourth of the total graduate employee. The second most graduated was the politics and government, at 12. 1%. these two employment sector altogether made up the majority of the whole working area. In terms of area, namely others working area, charity, sport and civil service, they consisted about one in five of the total. Their percentages varied from 0. 1%, 0. 3%, 2. 8℅ to 5. 6% respectively. In addition, the other working area was graduated twice as much as the charity, but was graduated twofold as less as the civil service. Arts and entertainment or media and science and technologies constituted the rest graduation. They shared almost the same level at just above seven percent.
The pie chart compares the percentage of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
involving by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bluesky
University's graduates in 2006.

Overall
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
graduates
mostly
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
sector such as manufacturing industry and politics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
besides
work source employees in that year.

In detail, the manufacturing industry was the most graduated
Possible spelling mistake found.
employe
type all over the world. It accounted for
nearly
one fourth of the total graduate employee. The second most graduated was the politics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, at 12. 1%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
these
two employment sector altogether made up the majority of the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
area.

In terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
,
namely
others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, charity, sport and civil service, they consisted about one in five of the total. Their percentages varied from 0. 1%, 0. 3%, 2. 8℅ to 5. 6%
respectively
.
In addition
, the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
was graduated
twice as much as the charity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
was graduated
twofold as
Did you mean "less", "little"?
less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
the civil service.

Arts and entertainment or media and science and technologies constituted the rest graduation. They shared almost the same level at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above seven percent.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The chart shows the proportion of graduates from Bluesky University in 2006 entiring different employment

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
176 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts