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The chart shows the percentage of young people participating in sports clubs by gender in the UK in the year 2015. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.

The chart shows the percentage of young people participating in sports clubs by gender in the UK in the year 2015. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below. LwRO1
The bar chart illustrates the number of teenagers at about 15-20 years old who joined sports clubs by gender in the UK in 2015. It is evident that there is a huge gender disparity in the sport of football, and rugby. Furthermore, there is the least number of participants in swimming but it's gender-balanced. First of all, the greatest number of member boys join the football club with 30%, as opposed to 4% of girls. Additionally, only 2% of girls join the rugby club while it is an attractive sport for boys, at 10%. On the other hand, Athletics is a sport where female members outnumber male members, with figures recording 22% and 16%, respectively. And also tennis, the number of young women participating is one in ten, by 4% rather than boys. Meanwhile, swimming is less popular than other sports clubs, but is the only sport with equal participation of both sexes, at 5%.
The bar chart illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
at about 15-20 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clubs
by gender in the UK in 2015.

It is evident that there is a huge gender disparity in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
of football, and rugby.
Furthermore
, there is the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of participants in swimming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it's gender-balanced.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of member boys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
with 30%, as opposed to 4% of girls.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2% of girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the rugby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
while it is an attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
for boys, at 10%.

On the other hand
, Athletics is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
where female members outnumber male members, with figures recording 22% and 16%,
respectively
. And
also
tennis, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of young women participating is one in ten, by 4%
rather
than boys. Meanwhile, swimming is less popular than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clubs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
with equal participation of both sexes, at 5%.
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IELTS academic The chart shows the percentage of young people participating in sports clubs by gender in the UK in the year 2015. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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