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The chart shows the percentage of adults and kind of electronic devices owned

The chart shows the percentage of adults and kind of electronic devices owned bx06Q

The chart illustrates the proportion of the grown-ups who own five different kinds of electronic equipment. Overall, it can be seen that cell phones are the most common gadget among adults. Cellular phones are owned by 83% of adults, and the figure is roughly ten times higher than the percentage of adults who use tablets, at only 8%, which is also the lowest figure in the chart. In terms of desktop, the proportion of the grown-ups who have this gadget ranks the second highest, at 57%; likewise, 56% of adults own laptops. Regarding MP3, this device is used less than laptops, at 44%.

The chart illustrates the proportion of the grown-ups who This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
own
 five This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:various
different
 kinds of electronic equipment. Overall
, it can be This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witnessed
seen
 that cell phones are the most common gadget among adults.

Cellular phones are This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possessed
owned
 by 83% of adults, and the figure is roughly ten times higher than the percentage of adults who This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
use
 tablets, at This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
only
 8%, which is also
 the lowest figure in the chart. In terms of desktop, the proportion of the grown-ups who have this gadget ranks the second highest, at 57%; likewise
, 56% of adults This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
own
 laptops. Regarding MP3, this device is This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploited
used
 less than laptops, at 44%. 

IELTS academic The chart shows the percentage of adults and kind of electronic devices owned

Academic

American English

2 paragraphs

103 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
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Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 7.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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