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The chart shows the number of minutes telephone calls in uk between 1995 to 2002

The chart shows the number of minutes telephone calls in uk between 1995 to 2002 A36RN
The bar chart depicts three different types of telephone call usages in the United kingdom Between 1995-2002. These are local, national and international, MOBILE (all-calls) individually. The number of telephone usages measured by in billions. Overall it can be seen that the highest number of telephone usage minutes are used in National and international line, whereas the least amount are used in the mobile section. However, there was some fluctuation on National and international (fixed line) calls, But other two remained sectors increasing slightly over the period. Between 1995 to 1999 the fixed line user caller increased slightly with just over 70 billion minutes to almost 90 billion minutes respectively. In comparisons with other two sector it was doubled and one fifth quarters among the remaining usage at 1999. After that the National and international lines experienced to decline and reached approximately 70 billion at the end of the time 2002. In addition the local line began at below 40 and reached at second highest around 60 billion minutes at the end of 2002. However, the least one Mobile section started with approximately 3 billion and increased moderately to reached almost 50 billion minutes respectively.
The bar chart depicts three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of telephone call
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usages
in the
The proper noun "United Kingdom" needs to be capitalized.
United kingdom
Between 1995-2002. These are local,
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national
and
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international
, MOBILE (all-calls)
individually
. The number of telephone
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usages
measured by in billions.

Overall
it can be
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seen
that the highest number of telephone
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usage
minutes are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
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National
and
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international
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line
, whereas the least amount are
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used
in the mobile section.
However
, there was
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some
fluctuation on
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National
and
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international
(
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fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line)
calls,
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But
other two remained sectors increasing
slightly
over the period.

Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "Between 1995 and 1999".
Between 1995 to 1999
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
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line
user caller increased
slightly
with
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just
over 70
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billion
minutes to almost 90
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billion
minutes
respectively
. In comparisons with other two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'sector' seems to be countable, so consider using: "sectors".
sector
it
was doubled
and one fifth quarters among the remaining
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usage
at 1999. After that the
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National
and
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international
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lines
experienced to decline and reached approximately 70
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billion
at the
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end
of the time 2002. In
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addition
the local
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line
began at below 40 and reached at second highest around 60
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billion
minutes at the
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end
of 2002.
However
, the least one Mobile section
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started
with approximately 3
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billion
and increased
moderately
to reached almost 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
minutes
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The chart shows the number of minutes telephone calls in uk between 1995 to 2002

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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