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This graph depicts the general trend of people

This graph depicts the general trend of people j5a28
This graph depicts the general trend of people going to cinemas in an European country based on the day of week across a three-year period in 2003, 2005 and 2007. Firstly, it can been seen that the trend in distribution of people going to cinemas on different days had been consistent over the three years without any outlying data. Looking into the details, it is noteworthy that significantly more people go to cinemas on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, and this trend had been relatively consistent over the 3 years. Within these three days, Saturdays had always seen the highest percentage of people going to cinemas, ranging from 40% to 45% over the three years. This is then followed by Sundays at 30% to 34% and Fridays at 30%. On average, people are least likely to go to cinemas on Mondays and Wednesdays. The day with the smallest percentage of people going to cinemas had been Monday at only 10% in 2003. However, that place had since then been overtaken by Wednesday in 2007, recording as low as 8% of people going to cinemas on that particular day of week. In general, it should be noted that there is a high variation in the number of people going to cinemas on different days in that European country.
This graph depicts the general trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
in
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
European country based on the day of week across a three-year period in 2003, 2005 and 2007.

Firstly
, it
Did you mean "can be" or "has been"?
can been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the trend in distribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
days had been consistent over the three years without any outlying data.

Looking into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, it is noteworthy that
significantly
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, and this trend had been
relatively
consistent over the 3 years. Within these three days, Saturdays had always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the highest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
, ranging from 40% to 45% over the three years. This is then followed by Sundays at 30% to 34% and Fridays at 30%.

On average,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are least likely to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
on Mondays and Wednesdays. The day with the smallest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
had been Monday at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% in 2003.
However
, that place had since then
been overtaken
by Wednesday in 2007, recording as low as 8% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
on that particular day of week.

In general
, it should
be noted
that there is a high variation in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
days in that European country.

IELTS academic This graph depicts the general trend of people

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
216 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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