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The chart shows the leisure time spend

The chart shows the leisure time spend r66Ko
The chart illustrates the quantity of time off spend adore by men and women of distinct job levels between 1998 to 1999 overall, it can be observed that unemployment and retired had by far the maximum figure which ware spent by males, whereas the least hour in a week invested in full-time employment by female In terms of full-time employment, Men and, Women spent their leisure time nearly 45 and, 38 hours per week, however, ladies who did part-time jobs expend roughly 39 hours in a typical week, and housewives were quite busy in their daily chores and had their relaxing time like 59 hours per week. Moreover, the jobless and retired males who had nothing to do from 1998 to 1999 got the highest ratio of free time roundabout 82 hours. Well, the woman was also on the second-highest figure according to this data took 75 hours in each week those who are the jobless and retired
The chart illustrates the quantity of
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time
off spend adore by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women of distinct job levels
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1998 and 1999".
between 1998 to 1999


overall
, it can
be observed
that unemployment and retired had by far the maximum figure which ware spent by males, whereas the least
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hour
in a
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week
invested in full-time employment by female

In terms of full-time employment,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
and, Women spent their leisure
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time
nearly
45 and, 38
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hours
per
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week
,
however
, ladies who did part-time jobs expend roughly 39
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hours
in a typical
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week
, and housewives were quite busy in their daily chores and had their relaxing
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time
like 59
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hours
per week.

Moreover
, the jobless and retired males who had nothing to do from 1998 to 1999
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the highest ratio of free
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time
roundabout 82 hours.

Well, the woman was
also
on the second-highest figure according to this data took 75
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hours
in each
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week
those who are the jobless and retired
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IELTS academic The chart shows the leisure time spend

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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