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The chart shows the favourite pastime in different countries.

The chart shows the favourite pastime in different countries. e5KdB
The tabular chart compares the favourite pastimes in eight different countries for 30-50 years old people. The scale is in a percentage. Overall, It can be seen that Reading is most preferred pastime for all eight countries with Japan has the highest preference while the lowest pastime is sleeping. To begin with, the countries like Australia, Canada and USA love to watch television about 60%. But, for china this figure was quite low which was only 15% of people watch television. Americans like music at 23% which was highest compared to other countries. Then after, England enjoy sleeping as a pastime almost 20%. Whereas, In Canada and Australia the figure was only 2%. Furthermore, Reading was the highest preferable activity in Japan. Which accounted for 62%. China was most preferable in hobbies. It was only 50% And the maximum percentage of beach-lovers of Australia and America at 30%. So other countries are only 2 to 5% respectively. In sports, Australia was the top most selected pastime at 30%.
The tabular chart compares the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
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pastimes
in eight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for 30-50 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The scale is in a percentage.

Overall
, It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that Reading is most preferred
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pastime
for all eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with Japan has the highest preference while the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pastime
is sleeping.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Australia, Canada and USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television about 60%.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, for china this figure was quite low which was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
15% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television. Americans like music at 23% which was highest compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Then after, England enjoy sleeping as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pastime
almost 20%. Whereas, In Canada and Australia the figure was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
2%.

Furthermore
, Reading was the highest preferable activity in Japan. Which accounted for 62%. China was most preferable in hobbies. It was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
50% And the maximum percentage of beach-lovers of Australia and America at 30%.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
2 to 5%
respectively
. In sports, Australia was the top most selected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pastime
at 30%.
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IELTS academic The chart shows the favourite pastime in different countries.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
168 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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