Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The chart shows the employment rate for specific sectors of graduates from Brighton University from 2019.

The chart shows the employment rate for specific sectors of graduates from Brighton University from 2019. 07Nq
The chart shows the employment rate for specific sectors of graduates from Brighton University from 2019. Firstly lets look at the most popular industry, which is the service industry with 33 percent of all graduates. Next to the service industry is the manufacturing industry, in comparison to which the percentage drops almost in half. The third most popular sector is education, followed by politics and government closely by. Secondly, lets have a look at some of the not so popular sectors, which are transportation and warehousing with 7. 8 percent, science and technology with 5. 6 percent, civil services with 3. 2 percent and other industries, that are not mentioned with 2. 6 percent. Finally the least popular industries are charity with 0. 3 percent and sports, which holds the last place with 0. 1 percent.
The chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the employment rate for specific sectors of graduates from Brighton University from 2019.
Firstly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
look at the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
, which is the service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
with 33
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of all graduates.
Next
to the service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
is the manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
,
in comparison
to which the percentage drops almost in half. The third most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
sector is education, followed by politics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
closely
by.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
have a look at
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
sectors, which are transportation and warehousing with 7. 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, science and technology with 5. 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, civil services with 3. 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
, that are not mentioned with 2. 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
are charity with 0. 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and sports, which holds the last place with 0. 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The chart shows the employment rate for specific sectors of graduates from Brighton University from 2019.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts