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the chart shows the changes in three different of crimes in newport city from 2003 to 2012

the chart shows the changes in three different of crimes in newport city from 2003 to 2012 gb5pA
The given line graph illustrates the quantity of incidents by types of burglary, car theft and robbery in downtown in a 10-year period. It is obvious that the number of burglary offences declined significantly while that of car theft and robbery fluctuated throughout the given period. It can be seen from the chart the level of burglary criminal cases increased steadily during the first two years, reaching a peak at 375000 in 2004. Afterwards, the number decreased dramatically from 2004 to 2008, followed by a minor vacillation until the year 2012. Between 2006 and 2012, the incidents number of car theft witnessed a moderate rise, climbing from 2000 to 2800 – an increase of 40%. In the final year, the data for car theft offences overtook that of burglary and ended up the most common crime in Newport city. Ultimately, the least committed unlawful act was robbery. It is interesting to note that the figure of around 700 in the initial year is exactly the same figure for the ultimate year.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrates the quantity of incidents by types of
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burglary
,
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car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
and robbery in downtown in a
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10-year
period.

It is obvious that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burglary
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
declined
significantly
while that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
and robbery fluctuated throughout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burglary
criminal cases increased
steadily
during the
first
two years, reaching a peak at 375000 in 2004. Afterwards, the number decreased
dramatically
from 2004 to 2008, followed by a minor vacillation until the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2012.

Between 2006 and 2012, the incidents number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
witnessed a moderate rise, climbing from 2000 to 2800
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
an increase of 40%. In the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, the data for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
overtook that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burglary
and ended up the most common crime in Newport city.

Ultimately
, the least committed unlawful act was robbery. It is interesting to note that the figure of around 700 in the initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is exactly the same figure for the ultimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.

IELTS academic the chart shows the changes in three different of crimes in newport city from 2003 to 2012

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
171 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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