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The bar chart provides data about employment rates among six selected countries by two genders between 1995 and 2005.

The bar chart provides data about employment rates among six selected countries by two genders between 1995 and 2005. kgY0M
The bar chart provides data about employment rates among six selected countries by two genders between 1995 and 2005. As is presented, the employment rate of men was higher than females and the overall employment conditions in Iceland were better than other nations. According to the diagram given, in 1995, the employment rate of males in all six countries was above 55% while the female rate reached only less than 50%, except in Switzerland. After a decade, The percentage of male employment rose to 70% and Iceland had the highest data at about 82%. However, the female employee rate has not changed significantly compared to 1995 when the proportion was almost 70% in Switzerland and the rest of the countries it was just around 50%. In summary, male had more employment opportunities than female in six countries which are Australia, Switzerland, Iceland, UK, New Zealand and the US. Nonetheless,
The bar chart provides data about
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employment
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rates
among six selected
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countries
by two genders between 1995 and 2005. As
is presented
, the
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employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
was higher than
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females
and the
overall
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employment
conditions in Iceland were better than other nations.

According to the diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, in 1995, the
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employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of males in all six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
was above 55% while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
reached
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
less than 50%, except in Switzerland. After a decade, The percentage of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
rose to 70% and Iceland had the highest data at about 82%.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
significantly
compared to 1995 when the proportion was almost 70% in Switzerland and the rest of the
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countries
it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
around 50%.

In summary, male had more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
opportunities than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
in six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are Australia, Switzerland, Iceland, UK, New Zealand and the US. Nonetheless,
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IELTS academic The bar chart provides data about employment rates among six selected countries by two genders between 1995 and 2005.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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