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The chart shows the average number of hours per person that adults and teenagers in one country spent per week on eight leisure activities in 2015

The chart shows the average number of hours per person that adults and teenagers in one country spent per week on eight leisure activities in 2015 raXKo
The bar chart illustrates the time spent per person during their Free time by both the old and young on 8 different activities in 2015. Overall, the adults spend more time reading books watching TV and gardening, while the youth concentrate more on meeting friends and playing computer games. However, the two groups showed equal interest in going to the cinema and listening to music. The young adult spent 22 hours on meeting new friends which is the highest similar to 20hours of playing computer games whereas less than 1/5th of their time was put into doing sports while 1/2 of the day was dedicated to movie watching. However, the youth gave in the least of their time to reading books and gardening 2 and 1 hour respectively. I'm contrast, majority of the adults gave in 15hours into seeing movies while 8 hours of their time reading. Furthermore, the adult spent 7 hours playing computer games similar to the number listening to music as well as the youths and also same time spent by the senior citizen into gardening and partying. Finally, the elderly and young spent same time going to the cinema while only 3 hours on exercise
The bar chart illustrates the
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time
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spent
per person during their Free
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time
by both the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and young on 8
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities in 2015.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
reading books watching TV and gardening, while the youth concentrate more on meeting friends and playing computer games.
However
, the two groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
equal interest in going to the cinema and listening to music. The young adult
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spent
22
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
on meeting new friends which is the highest similar to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
20hours
of playing computer games whereas less than 1/5th of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
was put
into doing sports while 1/2 of the day
was dedicated
to movie watching.
However
, the youth gave in the least of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to reading books and gardening 2 and 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
respectively
. I'm contrast,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the
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adults
gave in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
15hours
into seeing movies while 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
reading.
Furthermore
, the adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
playing computer games similar to the number listening to music
as well
as the youths and
also
same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by the senior citizen into gardening and partying.
Finally
, the elderly and young
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spent
same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
going to the cinema while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
on exercise
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IELTS academic The chart shows the average number of hours per person that adults and teenagers in one country spent per week on eight leisure activities in 2015

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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