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The Chart shows expected city visits by country of origin for 2018 (Thousands/Year)

The Chart shows expected city visits by country of origin for 2018 (Thousands/Year) APWx3
The given bar chart illustrates the number of visiters will travel to 4 attractions from 3 countries called USA, Canada and Mexico in the year 2018. This is obvious that Marid is expected to be the place that will attract most of the number of travellers from all 3 countries, the opposite is true for proportion of Liverpool which will have least clients. In addition, America will be seen as the country have most people interest in There will be 100 thousands American guests per year in the figure of Marid, compare to 80 and merely 70 thousands people each year from USA and Mexico respectively. In constrast, the tourists will be attracted by Liverpool witness to be much less than Marid clearly. Netly, about 50 thousands Americans prefer Liverpool, which is twice as high as the figure for Canada sightseers reach well over of 25. Mexico will just have a tiny number with just 18 thousands people like travelling there. Looking at the chart in more detail, 80 thousands people from USA will have trips to Roma this year, which is 30 and 60 thousands people higher than Canada and Mexico respectively. Whereas, Paris is expected to have the number of attracted trippers quite similar from all those countries in 2018.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart illustrates the
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number
of
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visiters
will travel to 4 attractions from 3
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countries
called USA, Canada and Mexico in the
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year
2018.

This is obvious that
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Marid
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be the place that will attract most of the
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number
of
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travellers
from all 3
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countries
, the opposite is true for proportion of Liverpool which will have
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
clients.
In addition
, America will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as the
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country
have most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interest
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
in


There will be 100 thousands American guests per
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year
in the figure of
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Marid
, compare to 80 and
merely
70 thousands
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people
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
A determiner is probably missing here: "from the USA".
from USA
and Mexico
respectively
. In
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constrast
, the tourists will
be attracted
by Liverpool witness to be much less than
Possible spelling mistake found.
Marid
clearly
.
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Netly
, about 50 thousands Americans prefer Liverpool, which is twice as high as the figure for Canada sightseers reach well over of 25. Mexico will
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just
have a tiny
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number
with
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just
18 thousands
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people
like travelling there.

Looking at the chart in more detail, 80 thousands
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people
A determiner is probably missing here: "from the USA".
from USA
will have trips to Roma this
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year
, which is 30 and 60 thousands
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people
higher than Canada and Mexico
respectively
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, Paris is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of attracted trippers quite similar from all those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in 2018.
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IELTS academic The Chart shows expected city visits by country of origin for 2018 (Thousands/Year)

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
212 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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