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Describe the process of producing cement and concrete

Describe the process of producing cement and concrete XGY7g
The first given chart delineates the process of producing cement. The second one shows how concrete is produced for construction purposes. As can be seen from the first diagram, there are five steps in producing cement, beginning with crushing limestone and clay, ending with bags of finished product. To produce concrete, four materials are mixed. At the first step of producing cement, limestone and clay are crushed by a crusher to create power. Next, power goes through a mixer to the rotating heater. In this step, power is rotated and heated by a heat source applied at one end of the tube. After that, it is poured into a grinder. In the final step, cement is ground and packed in bags and ready to be used. To produce concrete, four ingredients involve. Cement makes up 45% of the total material while the proportions of water, sand and gravel are 10%, 15% and 30%, respectively. All the materials are mixed using a machine called a concrete mixer.
The
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart delineates the process of producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
. The second one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how concrete
is produced
for construction purposes.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the
first
diagram, there are five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
in producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, beginning with crushing limestone and clay, ending with bags of finished product. To produce concrete, four materials
are mixed
.

At the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
of producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, limestone and clay
are crushed
by a crusher to create power.
Next
, power goes through a mixer to the rotating heater. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, power
is rotated
and heated by a heat source applied at one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the tube. After that, it
is poured
into a grinder. In the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is ground
and packed in bags and ready to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

To produce concrete, four ingredients involve.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
up 45% of the total material while the proportions of water, sand and gravel are 10%, 15% and 30%,
respectively
. All the materials
are mixed
using a machine called a concrete mixer.

IELTS academic Describe the process of producing cement and concrete

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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