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The chart show the moment of the people from rural to urban area in three countries and predicitons for future years

The chart illustrate about the people who travel from rural to urban area in three different countries namely; Iran, Indonesia and Russia from the years 2000 to 2025. Overall, if we can see from 2000 to 2025, we can clearly identify that the millions of people moving from rural to urban area in Iran and Russia gradually increases with the passage of time, but in Indonesia this quantity increasing very slowly. Specifically, in Iran and Russia, the percentage of people migrates from rural to urban area increase gradually and met at 80 millions in 2020, after that from the year 2020 to 2025, we observe that Iran reaches to 95 millions and Russia reaches to 85 millions of the people who migrate from rural to urban area. For Indonasia, this quantity starts from 10 millions in the year 2000 and reaches to 30 millions in the year 2025, which is 65 millions and 55 millions lesser than Iran and Russia respectively.
The chart illustrate about the
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people
who travel from
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rural
to
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urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
namely
; Iran, Indonesia and Russia from the years 2000 to 2025.

Overall
, if we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from 2000 to 2025, we can
clearly
identify that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
moving from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
to
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urban
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area
in Iran and Russia
gradually
increases with the passage of time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in Indonesia this quantity increasing
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very
slowly
.

Specifically
, in Iran and Russia, the percentage of
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people
migrates from
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rural
to
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urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
increase
gradually
and met at 80
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millions
in 2020, after that from the
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year
2020 to 2025, we observe that Iran reaches to 95
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millions
and Russia reaches to 85
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millions
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who migrate from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. For
Possible spelling mistake found.
Indonasia
, this quantity
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starts
from 10
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millions
in the
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year
2000 and reaches to 30
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millions
in the
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year
2025, which is 65
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
and 55
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
lesser than Iran and Russia
respectively
.

IELTS academic The chart show the moment of the people from rural to urban area in three countries and predicitons for future years

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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