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the chart presents the avergae monthly temperatures and total annual hours of sunlight per year in london , newyork and sydney.

the chart presents the avergae monthly temperatures and total annual hours of sunlight per year in london, newyork and sydney. gqr8O
the chart presents the avergae monthly temperatures and total annual hours of sunlight per year in london, newyork and sydney. Overall, temperature in new york deviated most over the course of 12 months, though london had the similar trend as of new york generally temperatures were bit lower. Whereas newyork recieved the most hours of sunlight cummulatively and london gotten least sunlight hours per year. with upward trend beigining in march till july, plunging afterwards, newyork had the highest temperature, 30 degree celsius, in july for any city. london went through the similar trend as of newyork. while the trend was completly opposite for sydney, july being the coolest month with temperature falling to 16 degrees. as far as for sunshine hours per year, new york and sydney had approximately similar numbers, 2530 and 2470, whereas london recived only 1780 hours of sunlight per year. clearly, london is the coolest city, new york has the warmest summer, but sydeney enjoys the warm temprature overall.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
chart presents the
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avergae
monthly
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temperatures
and total annual
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hours
of
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sunlight
per year in
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london
,
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newyork
and
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sydney
.

Overall
,
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temperature
in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
new york
deviated most over the course of 12 months, though
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london
had the similar
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trend
as of
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
new york
generally
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temperatures
were
Consider using a past participle here: "bitten".
bit
lower. Whereas
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newyork
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recieved
the most
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hours
of
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sunlight
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cummulatively
and
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london
gotten
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
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sunlight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per year.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
with
upward
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trend
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beigining
in
The month "March" needs to be capitalized.
march
till
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july
, plunging afterwards,
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newyork
had the highest
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temperature
, 30 degree
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celsius
, in
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july
for any city.
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london
went through the similar
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trend
as of
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newyork
.
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while
the
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trend
was
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completly
opposite for
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sydney
,
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july
being the coolest month with
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temperature
falling to 16 degrees.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
far as for sunshine
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hours
per year,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
new york
and
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sydney
had approximately similar numbers, 2530 and 2470, whereas
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london
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recived
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1780
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sunlight
per year.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
clearly
,
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london
is the coolest city,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
new york
has the warmest summer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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sydeney
enjoys the warm
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temprature
overall
.
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IELTS academic the chart presents the avergae monthly temperatures and total annual hours of sunlight per year in london, newyork and sydney.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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