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The chart illustrates the number of personnel in percentage over the period of 93 years from 1918 to 2011, who owns and rent the living apartments.

The chart illustrates the number of personnel in percentage over the period of 93 years from 1918 to 2011, who owns and rent the living apartments. b7OQ
The chart illustrates the number of personnel in percentage over the period of 93 years from 1918 to 2011, who owns and rent the living apartments. Overall, the rented household declined substantially while the owned household accomomodalion followed the escalated trend through the given penod. With regards to the number of inhitants who owns the living properties are increasing throughout the period markedly, started at over 20 percent in 1918 to going upto a high of almost 70 percent in 2001. In addition, the owned household resident exhibits the marginaly growth from just above 20 percent to well over 60 percent in the last year of the period; meanwhile, the rented living flats started at almost 80 percent in the begging of the period, saw dramatically downward trend over the entire period, taking the total number to pretty much below 40 percent in the 2011. Furthermore, the change in rented household is consistent through out the given o time span.
The chart illustrates the number of personnel in percentage
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over
the
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period
of 93 years from 1918 to 2011, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
and rent the living apartments.

Overall
, the rented
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household
declined
substantially
while the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
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household
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accomomodalion
followed the escalated trend through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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penod
.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the number of
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inhitants
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
the living properties are increasing throughout the
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period
markedly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at
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over
20
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percent
in 1918 to going
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upto
a high of almost 70
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percent
in 2001.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
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household
resident exhibits

the
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marginaly
growth from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 20
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percent
to well
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over
60
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percent
in the last year of the
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period
; meanwhile, the rented living flats
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started
at almost 80
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percent
in the begging of the
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period
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
dramatically
downward trend
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over
the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
, taking the total number to pretty much below 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in the 2011.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in rented
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household
is consistent
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
o time span.
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IELTS academic The chart illustrates the number of personnel in percentage over the period of 93 years from 1918 to 2011, who owns and rent the living apartments.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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