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The chart compares monthly outcomes of various types of stores' types

The chart compares monthly outcomes of various types of stores' types MqEoL
The chart compares monthly outcomes of various types of stores' types in the USA in the previous year. Three types of stores were studied (book stores, hobby stores, shoe stores). Outcomes were measured by millions of dolars. Generally, while shoes were the most dominated retail sales, books and hobbies were almost the same by significat differance from the first. Furthermore, although all sales falctuated from january till the last of the year, they have started to increase at end of the year. Finnally, books and shoes peacked significantly during jully and august. Between june and jully, while book and hobby sales were around 500 and 1000 millions of dollars respectivelly, it was many more higher for shoes by approximitally average more than 2500 millions. Both hobby and shoe sales peacked to above 1500 millions for the former and more than 2500 million for the later during third qurater of the year. Serprisenglly, all sales have sharply increased at end of the year as they reached around 1500, 3500 and 4000 milions for books, hobbies and shoes respectivelly.
The chart compares monthly outcomes of various types of stores' types in the USA in the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. Three types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
were studied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores)
. Outcomes
were measured
by
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millions
of
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dolars
.

Generally
, while
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shoes
were the most dominated retail
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sales
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
were almost the same by
Possible spelling mistake found.
significat
'differance' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "différance"
differance
from the
first
.
Furthermore
, although all
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sales
Possible spelling mistake found.
falctuated
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
january
till the last of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to increase at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Finnally
,
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books
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoes
Possible spelling mistake found.
peacked
significantly
during
Possible spelling mistake found.
jully
and august.

Between
Possible spelling mistake found.
june
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
jully
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
were around 500 and 1000
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millions
of dollars
Possible spelling mistake found.
respectivelly
, it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Use only "higher" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more higher
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoes
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
approximitally
average more than 2500
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millions
. Both
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hobby
and
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shoe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
Possible spelling mistake found.
peacked
to above 1500
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millions
for the former and more than 2500
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million
for the
Did you mean "latter" (=the second of two items)?
later
during third
Possible spelling mistake found.
qurater
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Serprisenglly
, all
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sales
have
sharply
increased at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
as they reached around 1500, 3500 and 4000
Possible spelling mistake found.
milions
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoes
Possible spelling mistake found.
respectivelly
.

IELTS academic The chart compares monthly outcomes of various types of stores' types

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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