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The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016.

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. 9QlD7
The chart indicate one country's export earnings in five different product category during 2015 and 2016. Generally speaking, all categories( petroleum products, engineered good, agricultural products, and textiles) except one of them(gems and jewellery) increased sligthly. While textiles was the most increased one, the least increased category is agricultural products. Additionally, gems and jewellery was the only decreased type in this research. Firstly, petroleum products had just over 60 billions dollar export earning in 2015 and had been increased slightly with 3 percent change. Secondly, engineered goods had approximately 57 billions dollar earnings and end up at just over 60 billions dollar. While gems and jewellery has seen at 45, it decreased to 41 approximately and had showed 5. 18 percent decrease. Fourthly, agricultural products had nearly same export earnings in both 2015 and 2016. It had just above 30 billions dollars and had 0. 81 percent increase. The last one, textiles had the least export earnings within this categories. At the same time, it was the most increased one which had 15. 24 percent increase.
The chart
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "indicates".
indicate
one country's
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export
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earnings
in five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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product
Possible agreement error. The noun 'category' seems to be countable, so consider using: "categories".
category
during 2015 and 2016.

Generally
speaking, all categories
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(
petroleum
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products
, engineered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, agricultural
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products
, and textiles) except one of them(gems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
)
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increased
Possible spelling mistake found.
sligthly
. While textiles was the most
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increased
one, the least
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increased
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category
is agricultural
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products
.
Additionally
, gems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
decreased type in this research.

Firstly
, petroleum
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products
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 60
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billions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
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earning
in 2015 and had been
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increased
slightly
with 3
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percent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
Secondly
, engineered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
had approximately 57
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billions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earnings
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 60
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billions
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dollar
. While gems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
at 45, it decreased to 41 approximately and had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
5. 18
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percent
decrease.

Fourthly
, agricultural
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products
had
nearly
same
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export
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earnings
in both 2015 and 2016. It had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 30
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billions
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dollars
and had 0. 81
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percent
increase. The last one, textiles had the least
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export
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earnings
within
Did you mean "these"?
this
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categories
. At the same time, it was the most
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increased
one which had 15. 24
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percent
increase.

IELTS academic The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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