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boys' cultural and leisure activities. Girls' cultural and leisure activities.

boys' cultural and leisure activities. Girls' cultural and leisure activities. W58r5
These are two pie charts representing different activities favoured by boys and girls in their free time. Overall, there are many distinctive activities and very few in common, physical work appears to have the greatest share in both genders. By contrast, reading varies extremely. According to the chart, basketball and dancing make up around quarter of the young peoples’ time, soccer and dancing play major roles too, with 17% and 11% respectively. In regard of computer games which the two share interests’ in, apparently boys like to spend more than third of their free time playing games. Meanwhile, girls spend less than half of that time on computers. It is clearly evident that girls tend to spend more time reading, for them one fifth of free time belongs to reading. On the contrary, boys reading makes up 2% of their leisure! As for listening to music, it is quite obvious that both parties enjoy this activity giving it a tenth of their time.
These are two pie charts representing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
by boys and girls in their free time.

Overall
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
distinctive activities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few in common, physical work appears to have the greatest share in both genders. By contrast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
varies
extremely
.

According to the chart, basketball and dancing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up around quarter of the young peoples’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, soccer and dancing play major roles too, with 17% and 11%
respectively
.

In regard of computer games which the two share interests’ in,
apparently
boys like to spend more than third of their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
playing games. Meanwhile, girls spend less than half of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on computers.

It is
clearly
evident that girls tend to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, for them one fifth of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
belongs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
.
On the contrary
, boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
up 2% of their leisure!

As for listening to music, it is quite obvious that both parties enjoy this activity giving it a tenth of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS academic boys' cultural and leisure activities. Girls' cultural and leisure activities.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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