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The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK,divided into three categories,from 1995-2002.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. xo9g
The bar chart illustrates the sum of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the United Kingdom, ranged into three parts between 1995 and 2002. Local, national and international are fixed line on the contrary the mobiles is counted by all calls. The first local fixed line calls were gradually rising in 1995 from 70 billions to just under 90 billions in 1998. After peaking at 90 billions the following year, these calls had steadily fallen 72 billions in 2002. Secondly the national and international fixed line slowly climbed from 38 billions to 61 billions at the end of the period. Finally, there was a dramatically increased in mobiles from 2 billions to 45 billions between 1995 and 2002. To sum up, though local fixed line was still the most popular in 2002. On the other hand, remaining two types may have increased but over took one another.
The bar chart illustrates the sum of minutes (in
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billions)
of telephone calls in the United Kingdom, ranged into three parts between 1995 and 2002.

Local, national and international are
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fixed
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line
on the contrary
the mobiles
is counted
by all calls.

The
first
local
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fixed
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line
calls were
gradually
rising in 1995 from 70
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billions
to
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just
under 90
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billions
in 1998. After peaking at 90
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billions
the following year, these calls had
steadily
fallen 72
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billions
in 2002.

Secondly
the national and international
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fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
slowly
climbed from 38
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billions
to 61
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billions
at the
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end
of the period.

Finally
, there was a
dramatically
increased in mobiles from 2
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billions
to 45
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billions
between 1995 and 2002.

To sum up, though local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
was
still
the most popular in 2002.
On the other hand
, remaining two types may have increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
over took one another.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
148 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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