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the chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the uk

the chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the uk QRnmL
The provided bar charts illustrated the total number of minutes of telephone calls occur in the UK, divided into three categories; local, national and international, and calls on mobile within 1995-2002. Overall, it is recognizeable that local types had the highest number in the whole period, followed by national and international call types, and calls on mobile for the lowest number. However, both national and international along with mobile calls escalated in every period. Domestic call types started at 70 minutes (billions) in 1995 and keep increasing to around 90 billions minutes in 1998 before it constantly dropped by 15 billions minutes in the next 4 years. Nevertheless, national and international call started at nearly 40 billions minutes in the first period and slightly rose to approximately by 10% in 1998, the number kept increasing dramatically until it reached 60 billions minutes in the last period. Furthermore, mobile minutes started at 3 billions minutes and increased at very rapid pace to around 20 billions minutes in 2000 and escalated doubled to 45 billions minutes in the last term.
The provided bar charts illustrated the total
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number
of minutes of telephone
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calls
occur in the UK, divided into three categories; local,
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national
and
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international
, and
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calls
on mobile within 1995-2002.

Overall
, it is
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recognizeable
that local types had the highest
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number
in the whole period, followed by
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national
and
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international
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call
types, and
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calls
on mobile for the lowest
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number
.
However
, both
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national
and
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international
along with mobile
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calls
escalated in every period.

Domestic
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call
types
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 70 minutes
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(billions)
in 1995 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
increasing to around 90
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billions
minutes in 1998
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
constantly
dropped by 15
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billions
minutes in the
next
4 years.
Nevertheless
,
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national
and
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international
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call
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at
nearly
40
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billions
minutes in the
first
period and
slightly
rose to approximately by 10% in 1998, the
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number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
increasing
dramatically
until it reached 60
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billions
minutes in the last period.

Furthermore
, mobile minutes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 3
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billions
minutes and increased at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rapid pace to around 20
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billions
minutes in 2000 and escalated doubled to 45
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billions
minutes in the last term.
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IELTS academic the chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the uk

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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