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the chart below shows the spending money on phone services

the chart below shows the spending money on phone services m1l9N
The graph shows average yearly spending money on residential and cell phone services by American’s people, over a period of ten years. It can be clearly seen from the graph that, over the whole period, expenditures on residential phone services decreased, while the figure for cell phone services increased dramatically. The figure for cell phone overtook that of landline phone services. In 2001, spending money on residential phone services by US consumers was higher at about $700, whereas, the figure for cell phone was lower at about $200. Over the next 5 years, average yearly spending on landing phone services declined dramatically. By contrast, there was a significant increase in the amount of expenditure on cell phone services. In 2006, the amount of spending on residential phone services fell below that of cell phone services. Both figures for mobile and landline phone services were about $200 in 2006. By 2010, the amount of expenditure on mobile phone services reached $750. By contrast, the figure for landline phone services decreased by $300. 173 words
The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
average yearly
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spending
money on
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residential
and
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cell
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phone
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services
by American’s
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people
, over a period of ten years.

It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph that, over the whole period, expenditures on
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residential
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phone
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services
decreased, while the
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figure
for
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cell
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phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
increased
dramatically
. The
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figure
for
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cell
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phone
overtook that of landline
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phone
services.

In 2001,
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spending
money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
by US consumers was higher at about $700, whereas, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
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cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
was lower at about $200. Over the
next
5 years, average yearly
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spending
on landing
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phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
declined
dramatically
. By contrast, there was a significant increase in the amount of expenditure on
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cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
services.

In 2006, the amount of
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spending
on
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residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
fell below that of
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cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. Both
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figures
for mobile and landline
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phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
were about $200 in 2006. By 2010, the amount of expenditure on mobile
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phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
reached $750. By contrast, the
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figure
for landline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
decreased by $300.

173 words
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IELTS academic the chart below shows the spending money on phone services

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
172 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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