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summarise the information and make comparisions wwhere relevant

summarise the information and make comparisions wwhere relevant jRlO1
The bar graph shows how many journeys to and from school the primary school aged children took using different means of transport in one country during the years 1990 and 2010. There are five means of transport, such as, passenger in a private car, on foot, by bike, by bus, and a combination of on food and by bus. The greatest differences can be seen in travel by car and by bicycle. In 2010 being a car passenger was just 4 million trips a year and in 2010 that changed dramatically, raising the figure to 11 million expeditions a year. Another means of transport that changed dramatically in 2010 compared to 1990 was to travel by foot. In 1990 travelling by food represented 12 million trips a year and in 2010 was only 6 million journeys a year. In contrast, the main similarities can be seen in 3 mains of transport which changed slightly. The ways of travelling are the combination of bus and by foot, the bicycle and by bus. In those we can observe that the three of them were around 6 million expeditions a year. However, in 2010 all three gradually fell. Travelling by bus fell into 5 million trips a year, the combinations of travelling by bus and on foot declined into 3 million trips a year. Travelling by bicycle also decreased and in 2010 was only 2 million trips a year. Overall, there is a main trend that can be clearly seen. Children used to go to and from school by foot, but in 2010 that changed significantly and private car transport was the most popular way of travelling to school.
The bar graph
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shows
how
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many
journeys to and from
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school
the primary
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school
aged children took using
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different
means of
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transport
in one country during the years 1990 and 2010. There are five means of
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transport
, such as, passenger in a private
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car
, on foot, by bike, by bus, and a combination of on food and by bus.

The greatest differences can be
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seen
in travel by
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car
and by bicycle. In 2010 being a
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car
passenger was
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just
4
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
a
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year
and in 2010 that
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changed
dramatically
, raising the figure to 11
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million
expeditions a
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year
. Another means of
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transport
that
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changed
dramatically
in 2010 compared to 1990 was to travel by foot. In 1990
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travelling
by food represented 12
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
a
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year
and in 2010 was
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only
6
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million
journeys a year.

In contrast
, the main similarities can be
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seen
in 3 mains of
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transport
which
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changed
slightly
. The ways of
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travelling
are the combination of bus and by foot, the bicycle and by bus. In those we can observe that the three of them were around 6
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million
expeditions a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
However
, in 2010 all three
gradually
fell.
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Travelling
by bus fell into 5
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, the combinations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
by bus and on foot declined into 3
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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Travelling
by bicycle
also
decreased and in 2010 was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
a year.

Overall
, there is a main trend that can be
clearly
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seen
. Children
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used
to go to and from
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school
by foot,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2010 that
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changed
significantly
and private
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car
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transport
was the most popular way of
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travelling
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
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IELTS academic summarise the information and make comparisions wwhere relevant

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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