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The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors. WymW5
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of graduates in various employment sectors from Brighton university in 2019. The major count of pass outs working in service industries. In detail, 33 percentage of graduates working in service industries in which, almost half is in manufacturing industry which is 16. 3 percentage. The third major area of career chosen by graduates is education that is 14. 7 percentage. 12. 1 percentage students chosen politics and government as their employment field. However, students who selected science and technology is 7. 3 percent which is merely same to the percentage of transportation and warehousing sector that is 7. 8. Sports and charity is the less accounted areas which is only 0. 1 and 0. 3 percentage respectively. Moreover, others and civil service area is about 2. 8 and 5. 6 percent respectively which is very low compared to remaining areas except charity and sports.
The bar chart illustrates the
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percentage
of graduates in various employment sectors from Brighton university in 2019. The major count of pass outs working in service industries.

In detail, 33
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percentage
of graduates working in service industries in which, almost half is in manufacturing industry which is 16. 3
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percentage
. The third major
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area
of career chosen by graduates is education
that is
14. 7
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percentage
. 12. 1
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percentage
students chosen politics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as their employment field.

However
, students who selected science and technology is 7. 3 percent which is
merely
same to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of transportation and warehousing sector
that is
7. 8. Sports and charity is the
Make sure that the adjective 'less' is correct. Possibly, it should be an adverb (typically ~ly) that modifies 'accounted'. Possibly, it should be the first word in a compound adjective (hyphenated adjective). Possibly, it is correct.
less accounted
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areas
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
0. 1 and 0. 3
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percentage
respectively
.

Moreover
, others and civil service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is about 2. 8 and 5. 6 percent
respectively
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low compared to remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
except charity and sports.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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