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The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Australia.

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Australia. 3jOd
The bar chart compares differences among native people and migrants to visit various places such as zoo, library, theatre and cinema in percentage. Also, the migrants were categorized in two types: migrants who born in English-speaking countries (MESC) and other migrants. With the first glance, cinema was in favor of all types of people especially local one and after that MESC, about 70 and 65 percent respectively. However, in the case of migrants born in other countries go to library was the most priority maybe to promote their language knowledge or other qualities. The least amount of interest was theatre with fewer than 25% for all groups and new migrants born in other countries about 10%. For MESC, after cinema with about 65%, zoo was likely to visit around 50% and library 40%. All in all, local people and MESC have almost similar trend for all places whereas migrants who were not born in English-spoken countries have more tendency toward library
The bar chart compares differences among native
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
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migrants
to visit various places such as zoo, library,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and cinema in percentage.
Also
, the
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migrants
were categorized
in two types:
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migrants
who born in English-speaking
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countries
(
Possible spelling mistake found.
MESC
) and
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other
migrants.

With the
first
glance, cinema was in favor of all types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
especially
local one and after that
Possible spelling mistake found.
MESC
, about 70 and 65 percent
respectively
.
However
, in the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrants
born in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
go to library was the most priority maybe to promote their language knowledge or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
qualities.

The least amount of interest was
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
with fewer than 25% for all groups and new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrants
born in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
about 10%. For
Possible spelling mistake found.
MESC
, after cinema with about 65%, zoo was likely to visit around 50% and library 40%.

All in all, local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
MESC
have almost similar trend for all places whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrants
who were not born in English-spoken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have more tendency toward library
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If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Australia.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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