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The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different age groups in the UK who used internet everyday from 2003-2006.

The given chart depicts the proportion of adults of different age groups used the internet between 2003-2006 in Britain. Overall. it is clearly seen that the percentage of the mature person of age highest using the internet between 16-24, On the other hand, it touches the lowest end of the year. To begin with between 16-24, In 2003 from 2004 adult using the internet 80% and its remain stable. on the other hand, In 2005 a mature person of age using the internet maximum 100%. Moreover, In 2006 its decrease by 90%. However, between 25-44 adults using the internet in 2003, it declined by 50%. Another side in 2004, seniors used the internet 60%. It gradually decreases, In 2005 it moderately by 70% or In 2006, it raised by 80%. Therefore, between 45-54, from 2003 to 2006 there was a similar increase and climb up by 60%. In 2003 or In 2004 groom by 70%. On the other hand in 2005 grow up to 75%. Other in 2006 it reached in a peak by 80%. Therefore between 55-64 or 65+, from 2003 to 2006 the adults are using the internet it touches the lowest floor.
The
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given
chart depicts the proportion of
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adults
of
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different
age groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet between 2003-2006 in Britain.
Overall
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
it
is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the percentage of the mature person of age highest using the internet between 16-24, On the
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other
hand, it touches the lowest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with between 16-24, In 2003 from 2004 adult using the internet 80% and its remain stable.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
on
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, In 2005 a mature person of age using the internet maximum 100%.
Moreover
, In 2006 its decrease by 90%.
However
, between 25-44
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
using the internet in 2003, it declined by 50%. Another side in 2004, seniors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet 60%. It
gradually
decreases, In 2005 it
moderately
Did you maybe mean “buy”?
by
70% or In 2006, it raised by 80%.
Therefore
, between 45-54, from 2003 to 2006 there was a similar increase and climb up by 60%. In 2003 or In 2004 groom by 70%. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand in 2005 grow up to 75%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
in 2006 it reached in a peak by 80%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
between 55-64 or 65+, from 2003 to 2006 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are using the internet it touches the lowest floor.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different age groups in the UK who used internet everyday from 2003-2006.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
195 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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