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The chart below shows the number of visitor arriving in a particular country for a short trip, and the number of residents leaving that country for a short trip, from 2009 to 2011.

The chart below shows the number of visitor arriving in a particular country for a short trip, and the number of residents leaving that country for a short trip, from 2009 to 2011. 0ApN1
The line graph shows the number of people in a particular country arriving and departing on a short trip between 2009 and 2011. At first glance, it can clearly be seen that the number of resident individuals who left the country was greater than the number of tourists who came during the specified period. According to the graph, both resident and tourist traveler’s number increased gradually and approximately at the same rate from October 10, 2009, to October 10, 2010. The number of resident departure started at 550 thousand trippers in October 2009 and raised to 605 thousand trippers in October 2010. While in the same period, the visitor arrival number started at 490 thousand tourists and raised to peak at 525 thousand tourists in October 2010. After October 2010, the resident departures number continues to increase dramatically and arrived at 650 thousand trippers in June 2011. While the visitor arrival number plummeted to 495 thousand trippers in June 2011
The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in a particular country arriving and departing on a short trip between 2009 and 2011. At
first
glance, it can
clearly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resident
individuals who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the country was greater than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
who came during the specified period.

According to the graph, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resident
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
traveler’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
increased
gradually
and approximately at the same rate from October 10, 2009, to October 10, 2010. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resident
departure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 550 thousand trippers in October 2009 and raised to 605 thousand trippers in October 2010. While in the same period, the visitor arrival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 490 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and raised to peak at 525 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in October 2010.

After October 2010, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resident
departures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
continues to increase
dramatically
and arrived at 650 thousand trippers in June 2011.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the visitor arrival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
plummeted to 495 thousand trippers in June 2011
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the number of visitor arriving in a particular country for a short trip, and the number of residents leaving that country for a short trip, from 2009 to 2011.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
159 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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