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diagram shows the process of instant noodle manufacture

diagram shows the process of instant noodle manufacture jR9PL
The given diagram map illustrates the process of making instant noodle. It can be seen that it is a time taking long process. To start with, keeping the flour in container which is known as storage soils, then it is added in mixer along with water and oil to make noodle dough. Once the dough is formed, it goes on dough sheet passing by rollers which afterwards cut the dough into the strips and make the discs of noodles. Afterwards noodle discs put in oil to cook and after cooking, dry them. The making process is done here and now packaging process starts. It is interesting how vegetables and spices get pack in noodle cups. Furthermore the cups get labelled and sealed. Instant noodles cups are now ready to go in shops and eaten by public. Overall, it takes 8 steps in total. No wonder why people love eating instant noodles.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram map illustrates the process of making instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noodle
. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that it is a time taking long process.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, keeping the flour in container which
is known
as storage soils, then it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
in mixer along with water and oil to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noodle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dough
. Once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dough
is formed
, it goes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dough
sheet passing by rollers which afterwards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dough
into the strips and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the discs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noodles
. Afterwards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noodle
discs put in oil to cook and after cooking, dry them. The making process
is done
here and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
packaging process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
. It is interesting how vegetables and spices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
pack in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noodle
cups.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
the cups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
labelled and sealed. Instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noodles
cups are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
ready to go in shops and eaten by public.

Overall
, it takes 8 steps in total. No wonder why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
eating instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noodles
.

IELTS academic diagram shows the process of instant noodle manufacture

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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