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The chart below shows the consumption of various food groups by people in Germany from 1945 to 2010.

The chart below shows the consumption of various food groups by people in Germany from 1945 to 2010. e9wA
The two line graphs given under the task illustrate and compare the data about different foods by inhabitants of Germany between 1945 and 2010In an overview, it is highlighted that mostly milk and cream and fresh vegetables were consumed by Germans in the given time span. A quick glance at the chart reveals that from 1945 to 1970 Germans utilized high amount of Total milk and cream and liquid whole milk which was nearly about 3 liters per person on the weekly basis. Noticeably, no skimmed milks were consumed during that period. From 1980 to 2010, people started drinking skimmed milks which rose up from 0. 5 liters to to 1. 5 liters while there was a sharp decline in the consumption of liquid whole milk and a steady decrease in Total milk and a steady decrease in Total milk and clean category. Moving to the further chart, one can observe that between 1945 and 1995 people of Germany took fruit juice nearly 200 grams per person while more then you grams of fresh fruits were eaten up. In the case of fresh vegetables there wer fluctuations in the detegwen as it was 1000 gramin1950 then goo in 1955 then it inclined slowly but again declined. After 1985 to 2010, the ratio of fruit juice consumption and fresh fruits went up. In comparison to this less number of vegetables were utilized.
The two line graphs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
under the task illustrate and compare the data about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
foods by inhabitants of Germany between 1945 and 2010In an overview, it
is highlighted
that
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
and cream and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
vegetables
were consumed
by Germans in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time span. A quick glance at the chart reveals that from 1945 to 1970 Germans utilized high amount of Total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
and cream and liquid whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
which was
nearly
about 3 liters per person on the weekly basis.
Noticeably
, no skimmed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milks
were consumed
during that period. From 1980 to 2010,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
drinking skimmed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milks
which rose up from 0. 5 liters
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
1. 5 liters while there was a sharp decline in the consumption of liquid whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
and a steady decrease in Total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
and a steady decrease in Total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
and clean category. Moving to the
further
chart, one can observe that between 1945 and 1995
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of Germany took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
juice
nearly
200 grams per person while more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'you'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
you grams
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
were eaten
up. In the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
vegetables there
Possible spelling mistake found.
wer
fluctuations in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
detegwen
as it was 1000 gramin1950 then goo in 1955 then it inclined
slowly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
again declined. After 1985 to 2010, the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
juice consumption and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
went up.
In comparison
to this less number of vegetables
were utilized
.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the consumption of various food groups by people in Germany from 1945 to 2010.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
231 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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