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the chart below shows the changes in population growth rate in three Australian states between 1992and 2012

the chart below shows the changes in population growth rate in three Australian states between 1992and 2012 wO3rr
The line graph illustrates the annual population growth rate in Australia's states in 20 years. Overall, the growth of population in Western Australia and Queensland slightly fluctuated, while the Northern Territory's number of rezidents was volatile. Between 1993 and 1995, the Western Australia's number of citizen rose slightly to 2. 0%. Then in 2005 it skyrocketed and reached a highest point in 2008 from 1, 75% to 3, 5%. However, in 10 years the number of rezidents in Queensland fluctuated moderately but in 2002 it steeply increased. Between 1994 and 1995, Northern Territory's growth rate skyrocketed from 2, 0% to 3, 5%. In the next 6 years it declined rapidly and reached a plateau by 3, 0%. In early 1992 the growth of population in Queensland (2, 25%) was the highest among these three states. However, it significantly declined to 1, 45% in 1998. Then there was a growth of 2, 75% in 2008, but Queensland's number of citizens was the lowest in the end of the period. (157 words)
The line graph illustrates the annual population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
rate in Australia's states in 20 years.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of population in Western Australia and Queensland
slightly
fluctuated, while the Northern Territory's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
rezidents
was volatile.

Between 1993 and 1995, the Western Australia's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of citizen rose
slightly
to 2. 0%. Then in 2005 it skyrocketed and reached
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
highest point in 2008 from 1, 75% to 3, 5%.
However
, in 10 years the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
rezidents
in Queensland fluctuated
moderately
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2002 it
steeply
increased. Between 1994 and 1995, Northern Territory's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
rate skyrocketed from 2, 0% to 3, 5%.

In the
next
6 years it declined
rapidly
and reached a plateau by 3, 0%. In early 1992 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of population in Queensland (2, 25%) was the highest among these three states.
However
, it
significantly
declined to 1, 45% in 1998. Then there was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of 2, 75% in 2008,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Queensland's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of citizens was the lowest in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

(157 words)
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IELTS academic the chart below shows the changes in population growth rate in three Australian states between 1992and 2012

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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