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Number of arrests per year for illegal drugs from 1991 to 2005

Number of arrests per year for illegal drugs from 1991 to 2005 1AYwN
The line graph gives information about the levels of arrests yearly for substance abuse from 1991-2005. It is noticeable that irrespective of the fluctuations, the number of detention for hard drugs increased significantly in the year 2000. To begin with in 1991 the number of detention yearly was 10 but over the following 4years it rose, it rose dramatically to 60 in 1997. Consequently, it remained constant over the next 3years that followed. But then the next 2years hit a low off of below 40. Following this, it increased steadily and hit a peak of 70 in the year 2000. However there was fluctuations in the years that came by, resulting in a plung at the end of the year. In conclusion despite the irregularities and low level of capture, there was a steady increase at the end of the year in 2005.
The line graph gives information about the levels of arrests yearly for substance abuse from 1991-2005. It is noticeable that irrespective of the fluctuations, the number of detention for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
drugs increased
significantly
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with in 1991 the number of detention yearly was 10
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
over the following 4years it rose, it rose
dramatically
to 60 in 1997.
Consequently
, it remained constant over the
next
3years that followed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
then the
next
2years hit a low off of below 40. Following this, it increased
steadily
and hit a peak of 70 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
Did you mean "there were fluctuations"?
there was fluctuations
in the years that came by, resulting in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
plung
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year.

In conclusion
despite the irregularities and low level of capture, there was a steady increase at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in 2005.

IELTS academic Number of arrests per year for illegal drugs from 1991 to 2005

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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