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The chart below shows the average hours spent per day in leisure and sports activities, by youngest and oldest populations, in the US, in 2015.

The chart below shows the average hours spent per day in leisure and sports activities, by youngest and oldest populations, in the US, in 2015. OQ87
The given bar chart illustrates how much time American people from two different age groups allocated to leisure and sports activities in 2015. It can be noticed that people from two age groups spent most of their time watching TV. Additionally, whilst senior citizens spent more time watching TV, relaxing and thinking, and reading than the younger group, the opposite was true for other activities. To commence with, Americans aged 15 to 19 years old spent roughly 2. 4 hours per day watching TV, which was half of the hours the elderly spent. Likewise, people aged 75 and over spent more time a day relaxing, thinking and reading, with 0. 5 and 1 hour respectively, than teenagers whose figures were one-fourth than that. Regarding the remaining categories, adolescents spent 30 minutes or more a day on all three activities, with exactly 0. 5 hours on using computers for leisure. While the other spent from merely a quarter of an hour to marginally over 0. 5 hours a day on these pursuits. Besides, socializing and communicating, at approximately 0. 6 hours, was more popular than physical and recreational activities among the older group.
The
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given
bar chart illustrates how much
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time
American
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people
from two
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different
age
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groups
allocated to leisure and sports activities in 2015.

It can
be noticed
that
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people
from two age
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groups
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spent
most of their
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time
watching TV.
Additionally
, whilst senior citizens
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spent
more
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time
watching TV, relaxing and thinking, and reading than the younger
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group
, the opposite was true for other activities.

To commence with, Americans aged 15 to 19 years
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old
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spent
roughly 2. 4
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hours
per day watching TV, which was half of the
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hours
the elderly
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spent
.
Likewise
,
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people
aged 75 and over
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spent
more
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time
a day relaxing, thinking and reading, with 0. 5 and 1
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hour
respectively
,
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than
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teenagers
whose figures were one-fourth than that.

Regarding the remaining categories, adolescents
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spent
30 minutes or more a day on all three activities, with exactly 0. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
on using computers for leisure.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the other
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spent
from
merely
a quarter of an
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hour
to
marginally
over 0. 5
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hours
a day on these pursuits.
Besides
, socializing and communicating, at approximately 0. 6
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hours
, was more popular than physical and recreational activities among the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the average hours spent per day in leisure and sports activities, by youngest and oldest populations, in the US, in 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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