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the chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales

the chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales YL9q5
How the value of rentals and sales of movies have changed within a specific store in the years 2002 to 2011 is illustrated in the bar chart. Overall, while rentals and VHS sales showing downward trends, Blu-ray illustrated upward trends. The last notable feature is that DVD sales experienced some fluctuations. Initially, rental amounts has showing a steady decrease sin 2002 when sales reached a peak at over 180. 000, 2011 where dropped to the lowest sales at almost 60. 000. A similar trend VHS sales numbers, which had the highest numbers in 2002 at over 80. 000 but after 2006 it has dissapeared in that store. On the other hand, Blu-ray sales withnessed a steady increase from nearly zero sales to approximately 6000. Next, DVD sales started at just under 50. 000 in 2002, then hit a peak at about 210. 000. However, in the successive years it saw a decline trend for about 180. 000 in the end of the period.
How the value of rentals and
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sales
of movies have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
within a specific store in the years 2002 to 2011
is illustrated
in the bar chart.
Overall
, while rentals and VHS
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sales
showing downward
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trends
, Blu-ray illustrated upward
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trends
. The last notable feature is that DVD
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sales
experienced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations.

Initially
, rental amounts has showing a steady decrease sin 2002 when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
reached a peak at over 180. 000, 2011 where dropped to the lowest
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sales
at almost 60. 000. A similar
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trend
VHS
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sales
numbers, which had the highest numbers in 2002 at over 80. 000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after 2006 it has
Possible spelling mistake found.
dissapeared
in that store.
On the other hand
, Blu-ray
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sales
Possible spelling mistake found.
withnessed
a steady increase from
nearly
zero
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sales
to approximately 6000.
Next
, DVD
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sales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 50. 000 in 2002, then hit a peak at about 210. 000.
However
, in the successive years it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a decline
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trend
for about 180. 000 in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
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IELTS academic the chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
163 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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