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fish and meat consumption

fish and meat consumption Wy9pb
The line graph compares fish and meat consumption for each person per week in a European country over a period of 26 years. It is clear that people consumed fish less than meat in each year. However chicken consumption rose gradually over the period. Between 1979 and 1989, beef had the most consumption in this country. In 1989, chicken consumption overtook beef consumption and rose slightly close to 250 grams per person per week. In contrast, beef consumption saw a rapid decrease from 1989 to the end of the period and it reached to around 100 grams per person per week in 2004. In 1979, lamb consumption was 150 grams per person per week and it fell gradually to almost 60 grams per person in 2004. In the first years, fish consumption saw a small fall and remained stable for the rest of the period. It reached to approximately 50 grams per person per week in 2004.
The line graph compares fish and meat
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consumption
for each
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person
per
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week
in a European country over a period of 26 years.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consumed fish less than meat in each year.
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However
chicken
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consumption
rose
gradually
over the period.

Between 1979 and 1989, beef had the most
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consumption
in this country. In 1989, chicken
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consumption
overtook beef
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consumption
and rose
slightly
close to 250
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grams
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
In contrast
, beef
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consumption
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a rapid decrease from 1989 to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period and it reached to around 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
in 2004.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
1979, lamb
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consumption
was 150
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
and it fell
gradually
to almost 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in 2004.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the
first
years, fish
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consumption
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fall and remained stable for the rest of the period. It reached to approximately 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
in 2004.
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IELTS academic fish and meat consumption

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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