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The chart below shows the amount of vacation packages sold in Canadian cities (in 1000 people).

The chart below shows the amount of vacation packages sold in Canadian cities (in 1000 people). 6KxAG
The bar chart illustrates the amount of two types of vacation packages sold in Calgary, Montreal, Toronto, Vancouver and Winnipeg in 1000 people. Overall, the most package sold in Toronto for Vacation Package A, and in Winnipeg for Vacation Package B, while the least package sold in Montreal for Vacation Package B, and in Vancouver for Vacation Package A. It is clear that Vacation Package B was sold than Vacation Package A in all cities which is given in the chart. It is obvious that the most difference were in Toronto between packages by sales with (approximately 30000 people). Meanwhile, the least difference were in Winnipeg between packages by sales with (under 10000 people). There were some similar trends in Calgary and Montreal. Their numbers were alike each other. For instance, for Vacation Package A, the numbers were near the 35000 people, whereas for Vacation Package B the numbers were near 50000 people.
The bar chart illustrates the amount of two types of
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vacation
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packages
sold in Calgary, Montreal, Toronto, Vancouver and Winnipeg in 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Overall
, the most
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package
sold in Toronto for
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Vacation
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Package
A, and in Winnipeg for
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Vacation
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Package
B, while the least
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package
sold in Montreal for
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Vacation
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Package
B, and in Vancouver for
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Vacation
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Package
A.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
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Vacation
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Package
B
was sold
than
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Vacation
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Package
A in all cities which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the chart. It is obvious that the most difference were in Toronto between
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packages
by sales with (approximately 30000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people)
. Meanwhile, the least difference were in Winnipeg between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packages
by sales with (under 10000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people)
. There were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
similar trends in Calgary and Montreal. Their numbers were alike each other.
For instance
, for
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Vacation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Package
A, the numbers were near the 35000
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people
, whereas for
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Vacation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Package
B the numbers were near 50000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the amount of vacation packages sold in Canadian cities (in 1000 people).

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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