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The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. r286
The renderd bar graph illustrates the amount of spare time enjoyed by males and females who belonged to different employment sectors in between 1988-1999. The units of leisure time given in hours. Taking the statistical data into account it can be clearly be seen that the majority of unemployed and retired men spent their free time in a week accounted as above 80 hours while, least time enjoyed by full time employed males in a week calculated as less than 50 hours of spare time in a week can be noticed in unemployed and retired females. Probing ahead, a difference of 3 hours can seen in full time employed and part time employed females between 1998-1999. The housewive women spent less than 60 hours in spare time in a week. Interestingly, it is striking to note that part time employed and housewives males did not spent free time in a week. Overall, it is clear from bar chart that the unemployed and retired males and females enjoyed same hours in a week in isolated year.
The
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renderd
bar graph illustrates the amount of spare
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time
enjoyed by
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males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
who belonged to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
employment sectors in between 1988-1999. The units of leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. Taking the statistical data into account it can be
clearly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the majority of unemployed and retired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
spent their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
accounted as above 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
while,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
enjoyed by full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
calculated as less than 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
can
be noticed
in unemployed and retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
. Probing ahead, a difference of 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
and part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
between 1998-1999. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
housewive
women spent less than 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
Interestingly
, it is striking to note that part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
and housewives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
did not
The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spent
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from bar chart that the unemployed and retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
enjoyed same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
in isolated year.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
175 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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