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The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002.

The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002. 21oA
The bar chart illustrates, the number of incidents and injuries occured per 100 million passenger miles travelled in different modes of transport in 2002. Overall the total number of incidents and injuries occured in 2002 was divided into four types of transport(commuter rail, heavy rail, light rail, bus) and demand response. While majority of the incidents and injuires recorded was due to demand response opposed to commuter rail which had least incidents and injuries per 100 million passengers travelled. A huge number of passengers faced incidents and injuries due to demand response about 250 and 170 numbers respectively per 100 million passengers travelled, followed by the commute by bus which had caused 70 and 60 incidents and injuries each. The damage caused to the commuters is less compared to the above mentioned modes of transport though light rail had also underwent 70 incidents and 40 injuries, heavy rail 50 incidents and 30 injuries, commuter rail was the safest per 100 million passengers travelled which contributed only 30 incidents and 20 injuries in total.
The bar chart illustrates, the
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number
of
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incidents
and
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injuries
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occured
per 100
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million
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passenger
miles travelled in
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different
modes of transport in 2002.

Overall
the total
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number
of
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incidents
and
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injuries
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "occurred", the past tense form of the verb 'occur'?
occured
in 2002
was divided
into four types of transport(commuter
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rail
, heavy
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rail
, light
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rail
, bus) and demand response. While
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majority of
the
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incidents
and
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injuires
recorded was due to demand response opposed to commuter
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rail
which had
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
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incidents
and
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injuries
per 100
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million
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passengers
travelled.

A huge
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number
of
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passengers
faced
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incidents
and
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injuries
due to demand response about 250 and 170
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numbers
respectively
per 100
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million
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passengers
travelled, followed by the commute by bus which had caused 70 and 60
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incidents
and
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injuries
each.

The damage caused to the commuters is less compared to the above mentioned modes of transport though light
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rail
had
also
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underwent
70
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incidents
and 40
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injuries
, heavy
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rail
50
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incidents
and 30
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injuries
, commuter
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rail
was the safest per 100
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million
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passengers
travelled which contributed
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only
30
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incidents
and 20
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injuries
in total.

IELTS academic The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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