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The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002. 0Ljq
The chart illustrates that the number of accidents and injures for per hundred million passenger miles travelled by various transportation kind during 2002. These are commuter rail, heavy rail, light rail and bus. First of all, beginning with commuter rail, noticing that in the year, the quantity of incidents and injures is lesser in comparison of others consequently they are not more than 20. There is light rail in third place which acidents were 75 and these were 25 more than heavy rail. On the other hand, the quantity of heavy and light rail injures were between 35 and 40 and almost equivalent. Besides, during the year the number of accidents which happened because of bus was 75 and almost 65 of them got injured. Finally, In addition to all of them, there are 250 accidents consequently, more than 60% of people got damaged but there is not any data about these belonging to which one.
The chart illustrates that the number of accidents and injures for per hundred million passenger miles travelled by various transportation kind during 2002. These are commuter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
, heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
, light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
and bus.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, beginning with commuter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
, noticing that in the year, the quantity of incidents and injures is lesser
in comparison
of others
consequently
they are not more than 20. There is light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
in third place which
Possible spelling mistake found.
acidents
were 75 and these were 25 more than heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
.
On the other hand
, the quantity of heavy and light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
injures were between 35 and 40 and almost equivalent.
Besides
, during the year the number of accidents which happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of bus was 75 and almost 65 of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
injured.

Finally
,
In addition
to all of them, there are 250 accidents
consequently
, more than 60% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
damaged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is not any data about these belonging to which one.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.