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The chart below shows employment figures in different tourism-related industries between 1989 and 1999.Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below

The chart below shows employment figures in different tourism-related industries between 1989 and 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below BJjMd
The bar graphs compare employment figures in five leisure-related industries between 1989 and 1999. The hotel industry employed the most people, almost 300, 000, in 1989. It was closely followed by the sports and food industries, which had just fewer than 285, 000 workers each. Far fewer people worked in the fields of culture (82, 800) and travel (60, 900). Excluding culture, all fields of employment increased over the 10-year period. The largest rise was in the travel industry. Employment in this industry almost doubled to 114, 200 in 1999. The number of food-related jobs also rose significantly and by 1999 this industry had overtaken the hotel industry as the biggest employer, with just over 350, 000 workers. Employment in hotel and sports industries increased steadily over the same period, while the number of culture-based jobs dropped slightly, from 82, 800 to 77, 400. To sum up, overall employment in tourism-related industries rose steadily from 1989 to 1999. The only exception to this was in the field of culture, where employment decreased slightly.
The bar graphs compare
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employment
figures in five leisure-related
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industries
between 1989 and 1999.

The hotel
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industry
employed the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, almost 300, 000, in 1989. It was
closely
followed by the sports and food
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industries
, which had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
fewer than 285, 000 workers each. Far fewer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
worked in the fields of culture (82, 800) and travel (60, 900).

Excluding culture, all fields of
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employment
increased over the 10-year period. The largest rise was in the travel
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industry
.
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Employment
in this
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industry
almost doubled to 114, 200 in 1999. The number of food-related jobs
also
rose
significantly
and by 1999 this
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industry
had overtaken the hotel
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industry
as the biggest employer, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 350, 000 workers.
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Employment
in hotel and sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
increased
steadily
over the same period, while the number of culture-based jobs dropped
slightly
, from 82, 800 to 77, 400.

To sum up,
overall
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employment
in tourism-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
rose
steadily
from 1989 to 1999. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
exception to this was in the field of culture, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
decreased
slightly
.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows employment figures in different tourism-related industries between 1989 and 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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