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the chart below show the informaition about the problem people have when they go to live in other country

the chart below show the informaition about the problem people have when they go to live in other country 15L0W
The graph illustrates three major difficulties met by outlander when they move to new countries and the variation of problems according to age. It is obvious that there are a lot of things that people have to cope with, especially for middle groups. The greatest problems that the two older groups suffer is taking care of their healthy, with the percentage of more than 35 percent in each ones. However, it is easier for the oldest group to deal with the lack of money, a problem experienced by nearly 30 percent of people in this group. In comparison, the two younger groups find it harder, with the percentage of people confronting is higher, from nearly 35 to 35 percent. It is also simple for the two extreme groups to handle with choosing school for their children, with only 2 to 6 percent of people. In contrast to this two groups, middle people struggle this problem more hardly, with nearly 20 percent people in this group.
The graph illustrates three major difficulties met by outlander when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to new countries and the variation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
according to age.

It is obvious that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cope with,
especially
for middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
. The greatest
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problems
that the two older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
suffer is taking care of their healthy, with the percentage of more than 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "one"?
ones
.
However
, it is easier for the oldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
to deal with the lack of money, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
experienced by
nearly
30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
In comparison
, the two younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
find it harder, with the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
confronting is higher, from
nearly
35 to 35 percent.

It is
also
simple for the two extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
to handle with choosing school for their children, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2 to 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In contrast
to this two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
struggle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
more hardly, with
nearly
20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
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IELTS academic the chart below show the informaition about the problem people have when they go to live in other country

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
165 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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