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Chart given depicts the global trades in a billion of four various kinds of digital games such as Mobile phone, online, console and handheld games since the year 2000 till 2006.

Chart given depicts the global trades in a billion of four various kinds of digital games such as Mobile phone, online, console and handheld games since the year 2000 till 2006. 30l3J
Chart given depicts the global trades in a billion of four various kinds of digital games such as Mobile phone, online, console and handheld games since the year 2000 till 2006. As it can be seen, in the span of first two years i. e. 2000 and 2001, deals of mobile phone games were zero it was 2002 when it's sales started coming in picture on the contrary handheld games were the most popular ones also earned much greater amount that any of the other games. Broadly speaking, year 2000 saw deals of handheld games at around 11 billion which then increased significantly to 18 billion in the end period(2006) whereas console ones kept on decreasing continuously in sales throughout the given span, where it generated six billion in trades in the first year and went on to reduce slightly till two billion. Furthermore, Online games only came in existence in the second year of given span, from there on sales of it were skyrocketed, it was seen to produce one billion in debut year which then rose to 10 billion in the end, while Mobile phone games' inception took time and came in picture a year later than online ones and since then it has only grown slightly till the end of the period.
Chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
depicts the global trades in a
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billion
of four various kinds of digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
such as Mobile phone, online, console and handheld
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
since the
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year
2000 till 2006.

As it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, in the span of
first
two years
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
2000 and 2001, deals of mobile phone
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games
were zero it was 2002 when it's sales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
coming in picture
on the contrary
handheld
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games
were the most popular
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ones
also
earned much greater amount that any of the other games.

Broadly
speaking,
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year
2000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
deals of handheld
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games
at around 11
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billion
which then increased
significantly
to 18
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billion
in the
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end
period(2006) whereas console
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ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on decreasing
continuously
in sales throughout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
span, where it generated six
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billion
in trades in the
first
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year
and went on to
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reduce
slightly
till two billion.

Furthermore
, Online
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games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
came in existence in the second
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year
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
span, from there on sales of it
were skyrocketed
, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to produce one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in debut
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
which then rose to 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, while Mobile phone games' inception took time and came in picture a
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year
later than online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
and since then it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
grown
slightly
till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
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IELTS academic Chart given depicts the global trades in a billion of four various kinds of digital games such as Mobile phone, online, console and handheld games since the year 2000 till 2006.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
215 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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