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the chart below show the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

The given graph illustrates the amount of money the British and the French spent on five consumer goods, namely cars, computers, books, perfumes and cameras in the year 2010. Looking at the chart, it is immediately obvious that the total amount of money spent on buying goods in UK was higher than in France. Both the British and the French spent most of their money on cars, while in England the least money was spent on perfumes and in French it was spent on cameras. The British spent money on cars was at about 450000 pounds sterling. This figure for that of the France was at 400000 pounds sterling. People in the UK spent more money on books than the French, at 400000 pounds and 300000 pounds respectively. More 200000 pounds was spent on cameras in UK than in French (350000 pounds and 150000 pounds). In 2010, the amount spent on computers in French was slightly higher at about 380000 pounds than in French at 350000 pounds. Interestingly, the expenditure on perfume in UK and French was the lowest at around 200000 pounds and 140000 pounds.
The
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given
graph illustrates the amount of
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money
the British and the French
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spent
on five consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
,
namely
cars, computers, books, perfumes and cameras in the year 2010.

Looking at the chart, it is immediately obvious that the total amount of
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money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in UK was higher than in France. Both the British and the French
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spent
most of their
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money
on cars, while in England the least
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money
was
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spent
on perfumes and in French it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on cameras.

The British
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spent
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money
on cars was at about 450000 pounds sterling. This figure for that of the France was at 400000 pounds sterling.
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People
in the UK
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spent
more
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money
on books than the French, at 400000 pounds and 300000 pounds
respectively
. More 200000 pounds was
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spent
on cameras in UK than in French (350000 pounds and 150000 pounds).

In 2010, the amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on computers in French was
slightly
higher at about 380000 pounds than in French at 350000 pounds.
Interestingly
, the expenditure on perfume in UK and French was the lowest at around 200000 pounds and 140000 pounds.

IELTS academic the chart below show the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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